


Oni

by Deadpool343395



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Breaking the Fourth Wall, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23685730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deadpool343395/pseuds/Deadpool343395
Summary: Gintoki and the gang were recruited by Zura  to infiltrate an Amanto drug transaction, but the mission doesn't go to well.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou & Kagura & Sakata Gintoki & Shimura Shinpachi, Hijikata Toshirou & Kondou Isao, Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki, Kagura & Sakata Gintoki & Shimura Shinpachi, Katsura Kotarou & Sakata Gintoki
Kudos: 16





	1. That Inception Refrence

Gintoki was hunched over, desperately trying to catch his breath. Shinpachi was pacing across the room and even Leader was starting to sweat.   
"Gin-"   
Before I could even get my words out, Gintoki was strangling me with all of his might.   
"What the hell, Zura! This has got to be one of your craziest schemes yet!" Gintoki exclaimed.   
"Hold on I can explain." I tried to reason.   
"Explain?! Explain what?! How the Amanto were double what you told me? How they seemingly knew we were coming? How we almost died?!"   
Gintoki was livid. Even the kids seemed frightened by his display.  
"Gintoki" I said gently " I don't know how they were able to predict our attack, but right now is not the time to be angry. We need to focus on making it out of here alive."  
That seemed to have calmed him down a bit.   
"Ok, just give me a moment to think" Gintoki replied, visibly deflating.   
Suddenly a big explosion sounded outside of our hiding spot.   
"I don't think we have a moment" I quipped.   
We all filed out of the hiding spot heading for the stairs. I heard the footsteps before I could see them. It must be the-  
"Who the hell are ya!!" A giant lizard like creature hissed in our faces.   
"Hey, hey isn't this where the Shinsengumi is supposed to show up. I mean they are tagged." Gintoki drawled.   
" I think the shitty writer is just trying to subvert expectations aru." Kagura added, picking her nose.   
" Guys this isn't the time to insult the writer!" The very kind glasses wearing human scolded.   
" Are you just gonna ignore me, you fuckers!!!" The lizard man thing bellowed.   
He swung his fist straight towards Leader, but she was able to duck under his fist. She grabbed his hand and threw him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Before he could even try to get back up, I stabbed his shoulder to keep him nailed to the floor. He screeched, flailing around like a dying cockroach.   
"Now" I said intimidatingly " you're going to answer a few questions for me."   
The lizard became quivering on the floor. I saw him flicker his beady eyes behind me. I heard the sound of a blaster heading towards me. Gintoki reacted faster than I did. I felt his rough hand push me away. I was barely able to see Gintoki be engulfed by a bright white light before vanishing completely.   
"Gin-San. Gin San." Leader whispered.   
"Where did he go Katsura San?!"Shinpachi cried out  
"I don't know" I admitted quietly   
" We have to find him Zura!" Kagura was in tears.   
I wrapped her and Shinpachi in my arms.   
" We will find him" I said with absolute certainty.   
I faced the Amanto who dared to fire that shot at me.   
I unsheathed my sword in one graceful movement. The Amanto began to shiver violently as I approached him with controlled steps.   
" Now it's your turn"

I woke up groggily in what seemed like an office? Was that an air conditioner?! Where the hell am I?  
I heard a knock on the door.   
" Come in" I said reluctantly   
The first thing I saw through the door were a pair of innocent ruby eyes. The second thing I saw was   
a grenade heading straight for my face.

SOUCHIROOOO!


	2. Shinsengumi’s Shiroyasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki wakes up in a familiar environment.

"Oi Sofa kun don't you think it's kinda rude to wake up someone with an explosion?" I drawled.  
"It's not Sofa kun, it's Sougo. Anyways, I just wanted to make you're still staying vigilant, Fukuchou" Sougo said in an equally lethargic tone.  
"Fukuchou? Don't tell me I'm in another body swap episode! The first one was enough, thank you." I yelled.  
"Body swap? Is there something wrong with your head? Maybe you're finally dying of brain damage, rotten fukuchou." Sougo retorted.  
"Gah, I don't have time for this. I'm going to eat breakfast." I said, picking my nose on the way out. 

I walked down the halls of the barracks, passing by dozens of extras (was that a MHA reference?) that bowed to me saying "Good morning, fukuchou" I opened the doors the cafeteria only to get a face full of anpan.  
"I'm so sorry, Fukuchou!" Jimmy shrieked, going into a dogeza. "It's fine, just pay more attention why won't you, cherry boy?" I replied. "Yes of course! Thank you Fukuchou!" Jimmy shrieked once more.

This is so weird. Everyone is treating me just like Oogushi kun. And I doubled check to make sure that I'm still me. So what could have happened?  
Oh yeah! That blast from that Amanto! It seems to me like it had the power to change my life into Hijikata kun's. If I have his life now what about the kids? Are they alright? Shit!

I whipped my head towards where Jimmy was still kneeling, thanking me as if I had just set him up on a date with Tama.  
"Oi, Anpan man, where can I find Yorozuya?" I asked harshly.  
Jimmy quirked his eyebrows. "Danna's place? It's where it always is: above Otose san's bar. Why are you asking?"  
"No reason. I'm heading out. Don't wait up" I briskly walked away, waving my hand as a goodbye. 

As I walked the streets of Edo, people began to whisper as I walked by.  
That's him, huh  
Yeah definitely  
They say he only leaves the barracks when there are huge threats  
I heard that he took down an Amanto spaceship with only a wooden sword  
They say when he gets super angry his perm turns golden and spikes up on top of his head!  
Idiot, you're confusing him with Goku!  
But he's still crazy strong right?

Of course. He is the Shinsengumi's Shiroyasha.


	3. Yorozuya Toshi chan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally updated!!!

Gintoki stormed through the streets of Kabukicho to Otose's bar.

He stomped his way up the stairs to his old residence and pounded on the door.

After several minutes of knocking, a human wearing glasses finally opened the door,

"Oh, Sakata san. Is there something we can do for you?" Shinpachi asked politely.

Gintoki stared at Shinpachi 

"Sakata san? What the hell. Patsuan would never be this polite to me?" Gintoki thought.

"Um Sakata san?" Shinpachi said in a confused tone.

"WHO'S AT THE DOOR, SHINPACHI?" A familiar voice yelled out.

"It's Sakata san!" Shinpachi yelled back.

Gintoki heard angry grumbling and heavy footsteps. A few moments later, a man is standing in front of him. He almost looked exactly like Gin if not for his far superior hair and V bangs.

"OOGUSHI KUN?! ALSO WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT SUPERIOR HAIR!!" Gintoki screamed.

"What the hell do you want now?", Hijikata said, hands in his yukata, "Toshi chan hasn't made any trouble for you government dogs in a while."

Gintoki was stunned. Hijikata's attitude was way off base. Was he supposed to be acting like Gintoki? If so the writer must have never watched Gintama, cuz Gin san isn't this rude. Gin san is a gentleman to all.

"Well I'm here to uh...." Gintoki stammered

Now both Shinpachi and Hijikata were looking at him like he was crazy.

"OI! Whats goin' on here? I'm tryna watch Mob Insane 1000 over here, aru!" Kagura interrupted. 

She took one look at Gintoki and immediately pounced. She tackled him to the ground and began to pull on his unruly curls.

"YOU OWE ME!" She kept chanting.

Gintoki struggled to get her off of him, but with her Yato strength it was almost impossible.

"What....do....I.....even.....owe..you?" Gintoki choked out.

"YOU SAID YOU WOULD GIVE ME DANGO IF I STOPPED BEETLE HUNTING IN THE PARK YESTERDAY AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN ME MY FOOD!" Kagura ranted.

Gintoki found an opening and swiftly threw Kagura off of him. He got up and patted his clothes free of dust.

"First of all, I have no idea what you are talking about," He pointed at Kagura, "Second of all why didn't you two help me, "He then pointed to Shinpachi and Hijikata, who magically obtained a cigarette during the scuffle, "And finally, I came here to figure out what the hell was going on."

Gintoki let out a huge breath as if all his problems flowed out of him during his tirade.

"Well," Hijikata put out his cigarette, "If you're done with your moment, we can see if we can help you.

Hijikata sat behind the main desk and propped his feet up.

"After all I am Yorozuya Toshi chan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took so long with this. it's not even that interesting of a chapter.


	4. So this is an Alternate Universe aru?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang I'm actually updating out here

"So what's goin' on?" Hijikata asked while picking his nose.

"Well it all started when I woke up and Patsuan said there was no strawberry milk in the fridge." Gintoki started.

"Can you get to the point, please." Shinpachi interrupted.

"Fine. Basically I got shot by this alien beam and now I popped up here." Gintoki explained, picking his nose.

"Can you elaborate, please." Shinpachi asked through clenched teeth.

"Well where i come from this place belongs to me," Gintoki pointed to Hijikata, "and Oogushi kun over here was the Oni Fukucho of the Shinsengumi."

"WOAH!", Kagura popped in to the conversation, "You mean this lazy bastard was second in command of the Shinsengumi?"

Hijikata retracted his finger from his nose and flicked the booger that he picked at Kagura.

As Kagura was violently thrashing as to get the booger off of her, Hijikata stood from his chair and walked towards Gintoki.

"This seems like a very complex issue. Me and my associates here will do our very best to solve this problem. Since this will take us a bit of time, I would like to be paid 50,000 yen up front please." Hijikata held out his palm with an expectant look.

Gintoki looked at Hijikata's palm for a moment.

"I see." Gintoki spoke softly.

He reached into his pocket and took out 

A brick

and threw it full force at Hijikata's face.

Fortunately, he had sharp enough reflexes to dodge the object.

The brick ended up breaking the window behind the main desk and hitting a civilian.

Shinpachi ran towards the broken window and frantically apologized to the people below.

"HEY WHAT THE HELL, PERMHEAD!!" Hijikata yelled, getting into a fighting stance.

"THE REAL QUESTION IS WHY THE HELL YOU EXPECTED ME TO PAY HALF A MILLION YEN BEFORE YOU EVEN DO ANYTHING!"  
Gintoki yelled back also getting into a fighting stance.

Before they could get a chance to pounce on each other, Kagura, surprisingly, is the one to get in the middle of them.

"OI," she faced Gintoki, "you said something about where you come from?", she started to walk towards him adn Gin progressively backed up, "Does that mean....." Kagura pinned Gintoki to the opposite side of the room.

Gin began to sweat.

"That Ouran High School got a second season somewhere out there?!" Kagura's eyes shone with obvious delight.

Gintoki gave her a deadpan look.

"No." 

"OH COME ON!!!" Kagura whined.

Shinpachi, the only functioning member in the Yorozuya, finally interjected.

"Sakata san. We will accept your job and you don't have to pay us anything up front." Shinpachi appeased.

In the background, Hijikata and Kagura started to protest.

Shinpachi quickly guided Gintoki to the front door.

"Thank you for this opportunity! Bye now!" Shinpachi almost slammed the door.

Gintoki was stunned for a couple minutes.

He then began to walk down the stairs to the Shinsengumi barracks.

"HEY, PERMHEAD!" A familiar voice called out.

Gin turned to the broken window of the Yorozuya building.

"MEET US AT THE DANGO PLACE TOMMOROW AT THREE!" 

Hijikata gave him a small grin.

"AND DON'T THINK WE'LL LET YOU OFF THE HOOK WITH THIS WINDOW!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm slowly losing track of the story, but don't worry I didn't forget the Ginhiji aspect.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from Wattpad


End file.
